From Normal to POF in a Year... what? :(

So in 2011 my worst fear came true--fertility problems, having children will NOT be easy. Since I was 17 I had a small voice in my head telling me that I would have problems having kids. Of course at that age no ob/gyn will run tests "You're young! when you want kids you'll be able to have them!" A couple years later and a new ob/gyn, I asked the same thing with the same response "You're 22! You're a baby! You'll be able to have children no problem. I promise I will get you pregnant when the time is right for you" So when I got the blood test results in 2011 I felt like shouting at these ob/gyns "SEE I TOLD YOU SOMETHING WAS WRONG!!!! I knew it!!"

I felt like if they had just taken me seriously I wouldn't be in this mess right now. That maybe I could have had my eggs frozen or something, I don't know. I just always thought that if I knew earlier I would have done things differently! That I would be a mom right now, that I would have been able to do something! POF definitely makes you feel helpless--esp when they don't know why it's happening!

Well last Thursday I had my first appointment with my wonderful new ob/gyn! He is awesome! But i get there and my old ob/gyn's office never sent my info over, so after the appointment I drove the 30 mins to pick my medical records up myself--which was fine with me because I was curious to see what the NP had to say about me after the way our last phone conversation went. In looking through my paperwork I came across a piece of paper that said my FSH was normal in 2010. WAIT WHAT?!! Normal? Are you sure? And sure enough staring right back at me was blood work the NP ordered--FSH 6.7!!!

I don't know why but I feel so mad at myself! I started re thinking the way I spent 2010. What happened in that one year that made my body turn against itself?! If I knew this was going to happen we would have tried getting pregnant right away. For some reason it really bothers me. When I found out that I had high FSH, I always assumed that it had probably been high for a long time, long before I met the fiancee.

So to find out that, no thats not true. That my old ob/gyn actually had a pre POF FSH number on me. I don't know it just feels like I've been kind of turned on my head... How are women supposed to know that this is happening to their body? Why is this happening to us?

Has this ever happened to any of you out there? I feel like it should have taken longer than that for my body to go from 6.7 to 61.8... I just wish I would have known.